Have you ever felt like you are just going through the motions, doing things because you are “supposed to” rather than because you actually want to? It is a common feeling. We are constantly bombarded with messages about what we should be doing, what we should want, and who we should be. It is easy to get caught up in a lifestyle that looks good on paper but does not feel right on the inside. This is where your personal values come in. Your values are the things that are most important to you—the core principles that guide your decisions. When your daily actions line up with these values, life feels more meaningful and authentic. Designing a lifestyle that reflects what you truly care about is not about having a perfect life; it is about creating a life that feels genuinely yours. It is a powerful way to find more happiness and satisfaction in your everyday routine.
Figure Out What Actually Matters to You
Before you can design a life based on your values, you have to know what they are. This might sound obvious, but many people have never taken the time to think about it. Your values are your internal compass, and without knowing which way it is pointing, it is easy to get lost. A great way to start is by thinking about moments when you felt really happy, proud, or fulfilled. What was happening in those moments? Maybe you felt great after helping a friend, which suggests you value kindness and community. Perhaps you were proudest when you finished a difficult creative project, which points to a value of creativity and perseverance.
Another useful exercise is to think about what makes you angry or frustrated. Often, the things that upset us are situations where our core values are being ignored or violated. If you get annoyed by wastefulness, you might value sustainability and efficiency. If you feel frustrated when people are treated unfairly, justice and equality are likely important to you. Do not rush this process. Spend some time journaling, talking to people you trust, or just thinking quietly. The goal is to come up with a list of your top five to seven core values. These are your non-negotiables, the guiding stars for the lifestyle you are about to design.
Conduct a Life Audit
Once you have your list of values, it is time to take a clear-eyed look at your current life. This is where you conduct a "life audit." It sounds official, but it is really just about comparing how you spend your time and energy with what you claim to value. Go through the main areas of your life: your friendships, your schoolwork or job, your hobbies, and how you spend your free time. For each area, ask yourself if it aligns with your values. For example, if you value "health," but you spend most nights staying up late playing video games and eating junk food, there is a mismatch. If "learning" is on your list, but you have not read a book for fun in months, that is another gap.
This is not an exercise in making yourself feel bad. It is about gathering information. The goal is to identify the areas where your actions and values are out of sync. Be honest with yourself without being judgmental. You might realize that you spend a lot of time with friends who do not share your value of "authenticity," leaving you feeling drained. Or maybe you value "adventure," but your weekends have become a predictable cycle of chores and TV shows. By seeing where the disconnects are, you can start to figure out where to make changes.
Start Making Small, Value-Driven Changes
Redesigning your lifestyle doesn't mean you have to quit school, move to another country, or completely change who you are overnight. In fact, that approach usually fails. The key is to start small. Look at the gaps you identified in your life audit and brainstorm one or two tiny changes you can make. If you value "community," you do not need to organize a giant festival. You could start by simply calling a family member once a week or making a point to learn the name of the person who makes your coffee. If "creativity" is a core value, you do not have to write a novel. You could spend just ten minutes a day doodling, playing an instrument, or writing in a journal.
These small shifts begin to build momentum. Each time you make a choice that honors one of your values, you reinforce that connection and build confidence. Over time, these little actions add up and create a powerful ripple effect. For instance, that ten minutes of doodling might turn into a passion for art, leading you to take a class, meet other creative people, and eventually fill your life with the creativity you value. The idea is to make the value-aligned choice the easy choice. By starting small, you are making it easier to stick with it until it becomes a natural part of who you are.
Shape Your Environment for Success
Your environment has a huge impact on your behavior. It is much harder to live by your values if your surroundings are constantly pushing you in the opposite direction. Therefore, a crucial step in designing your lifestyle is to shape your environment to support your goals. This can be both your physical space and your social circles. If you value "health and wellness," make your environment reflect that. Put a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter instead of a bag of chips. Leave your running shoes by the door so they are the first thing you see. Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel bad about your body and follow ones that inspire you to be active and healthy.
The same principle applies to your social environment. If you value "growth" and "positivity," try to spend more time with people who lift you up and challenge you in a good way. This might mean gently distancing yourself from friendships that are built on gossip or negativity. Your friends should inspire you to be a better version of yourself, not drag you down. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so choose your circle wisely. By curating your environment, you make it easier to live out your values automatically, without having to rely on willpower alone.
